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Filtering by Tag: relationships

MIND OVER DATING

Cynthia Simpson

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I don't care where you live on this planet, dating can be uncomfortable, frustrating and outright disappointing. It also can be exciting, spontaneous and lead to living your life with the person you love. I'd say if, in the end, you get to experience those fluttering butterflies in your stomach or the opportunity to feel true love isn't it worth pushing aside the negative thoughts and take a chance? 

I personally love meeting people; finding out what they are passionate about, where they have been and of course what they like to eat (what a person eats can tell you a lot about them). Not all people share this same enthusiasm. When it comes to sitting down with a stranger and explaining who you are it can be overwhelming. Then to be asked that annoying question "Why are YOU still single?" How the hell are you supposed to know the answer to that question?!

The ability to date and enjoy the experience totally depends on your mindset. If you go into anything new, say a new job or you just got a new apartment what you think going in can have an effect on if you stay or head to the left, to the left (In my Beyoncé voice). 

When you're on a date have a clear mind with no expectations. The best thing you can do is be yourself, be open and have a good time. You have no idea what the person sitting across from you is thinking but give them time and see what happens. When dating, time is your best friend. Time reveals the truth of people's intentions in life and ultimately with you. 

Live and be in the present. I think it's rude to be on the phone when you are meeting anyone let alone on a date. I understand if it's an emergency but if you have scheduled time to meet someone make sure you actually have the time to give them. Work emails are not considered an emergency people! 

Don't worry, be happy. I know that's a cheesy thing to say but honestly, wouldn't you want to hang with someone that's actually happy? I know I do. Being happy with who you are is so important in starting new relationships. When you are confident and comfortable in your skin you don't worry if this person will make you happy but rather if they are willing to share in your happiness. Happiness is a bright light that people naturally gravitate to. Shine bright like a diamond. (In my Rihanna's voice) 

The world is a magnificent, complicated place and it's great when you can find someone to explore it with. Your expectations will all depend if you are willing to let go of your ego, insecurities and focus on achieving a positive mindset. 

 

BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY IN 2015

Cynthia Simpson

If you are not aware of it, New Year's Eve is my birthday and I have a twin sister to share it with! Every year, we try to do something special. This year we had a party in Midtown with our friends. It was really a party to be remembered. To have your friends together all in one place is rare. You cultivate a group of people that you share experiences and are also refections of who you are.  

I think of life like it's your very own party that you create. You invite folks in, some help you decorate, some trash the place, there are folks that just don't know when to leave and then there are some that take you by the hand and get down and DANCE!  I LOVE TO DANCE! That's what I'm always looking for. So even if life doesn't go as you planned, remember it's your party, feel free to be or do whatever you want. We are here to CELEBRATE YOU! 

Life is about having those moments, sharing your dreams, and the people that make them come true.  I am excited about what this New Year has in store! I am ready to DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! BRING IT ON!  

Happy New Year People! 

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WHAT HE WON'T TELL YOU

Cynthia Simpson

HE'S ATTRACTED TO OTHER PEOPLE 

Just because your in a relationship does not mean that your man is all of a sudden not alive. Being attracted to someone is natural in human nature.  To think that he's only going to be attracted to you and only you is just redic. I'm not saying that he should be checking out girls when he is with you, that's just rude, but if a girl walks by with a butt that you can't even ignore, don't get mad at him. Instead, say something to let him know that you saw her too.  Letting  your man know that you are secure in your relationship is way more attractive then you flying off the handle about something you have no control over. And believe me, neither does he.  

 

HE'S NOT YOUR THERAPIST 

Now we all need someone that we can talk to about our hopes, dreams and why work was so crappy today. Your man should be there to listen to you and care about what's going on in your life. After all, he's a big part of it. But let's face it, some of us out here have some real issues to address that your man simply can't nor wants to handle. It's not healthy to unload all your problems onto your partner. How can you expect them to understand, then miraculously cure you of things you've carried with you for years? Do yourself both a favor, talk to a licensed professional that has the knowledge and the time to listen and work out those kinks. 

HE'S NOT INTO THOSE EXTRA ROLLS  (LOVE HANDLES)

If you have them and don't like them, DO something about them. Saying over and over "I feel fat", "I need to lose weight" not only effects how you feel about yourself, it also makes your partner believe exactly that. He may not even think anything is wrong with the way you look but because you make it an issue,  it will become issue. All it takes is one step.  Then another, then another, then another... you see where I'm going with this.

Start by walking.  

  IT'S NOT YOU AND IT NEVER WILL BE 

When it comes to matters of the heart, things can get a little tricky. We see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear when there in one thing that is staring you right in your face. THE TRUTH.  Being in a relationship with a person that disregards your tears, the "let's talk" and the burning question, why are you treating me this way, means that person really doesn't like you "like that." People stay in relationships for many reasons but being afraid to be alone or because you are bored should not be one of them. It just tells that person that you don't care about yourself and reinforces bad behavior. Remember, YOU teach people how to treat you.  I know it can be hard, but your energy and time should be focused on people that have your best interest at heart. It will open you to new experience, adventures and new love.